Frazzled Fridays!

"HIMs" of Worthiness

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct. (Galations 6: 4-5 NLT)

 I don't know about you but I struggle with comparing myself to others.  It's not just a "beauty" (pretty enough, tall enough, thin enough) comparison, but also comparing myself with what others have or are accomplishing in their lives (good enough, smart enough, dynamic enough).  Can anyone else relate?

Proverbs 14:30 - "A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer to the bones."  How do I have peaceful heart?

I know without doubt that these whispers of all the "not-enoughs" are from the enemy, not from God.  When these doubts creep into my thinking I must combat them with God's Truth.  His Word.  I Samuel 16:7 says, "...the LORD does not look at the things man looks at, man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."  

Ezekiel 16:14 - "And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD. (emphasis mine)

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Then the whispers of the Holy Spirit are not crowded out by my doubts and fears (and well, let's call a spade a spade - pride).  Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tell me so!!  Oh how He loves you and me.. he gave his life!  What more could he give...!    Just as I am without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me!  And yes, tears of joy and acceptance are running down my face.  You know, sometimes you just have to get that out.

There may be times when we would do, give, or spend anything just to have beauty or be noticed as beautiful.  We watch TV, commercials, and read magazines for advice.  We go on numerous fad diets.  We try to dress sexier or show more skin than is necessary.  All of this for the sake of being noticed and accepted.   None of this brings value, no matter how hard we try.   The TRUTH is God loved us so much that he sent Jesus to die for us - No one is ever going to love you or me that much, regardless of how we dress or how successful we think we are!!   Lord Jesus, please forgive me for not listening to you.  I have been listening to the world and trying way too hard.  Now Lord, empty all that junk out of my spirit and replace it with your Truth and your Spirit.  Also Lord, help me to forgive myself.  Amen.

Now, a few modesty rules called the 5 B's of Beauty:

1.  Be yourself.  Dress in what you love and you know looks good on you.

2.  Be colorful.  Wear shades that flatter you. (I will talk more about this in another post)

3.  Be satisfied with your body.  Wear sizes that fit, not too small.

4.  Be beautiful.  You are beautiful just the way you are!  God created you uniquely and beautifully you!

5.  Be respectful.  Ask yourself if what you are wearing would trip up a guy. 

I will leave you today with the song "Beautiful" by Bethany Dillion.  

Blessings,

Dawn

Frazzled Fridays!

Made in His Image:  Body Types

Has it been a week already!  Wow, I know time flies everyday, every year, but this time of years it gets faster by the hour!!  I have no idea if that even made sense! LOL!

Yes, God really did break the mold when he created you!  He made you unique and absolutely beautiful!  He did not make a mistake, he made you in His image and it is good.  I think Christian women have a "head" understanding of this, but in our hearts maybe not.  But we live in a world where society defines beauty completely opposite of God's Word and therefore, we are torn apart emotionally and do not feel good enough. 

The Bible says that you are “wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:14) and that your beauty is perfect (Ez. 16:14).  He is “enthralled by your beauty; honor him for he is your lord.” (Psalm 45:11)

In Shari Braendel's book Good Girls Don't Have to Dress Bad, she says "...beauty is not about the size of your clothes.  We are not a reflection of the number on that tag.  God gave us exactly the body He wants us to have, the exact frame size, and everything else that goes along with that."

Ok, what about our size in relation to health?  I can be a fluffy size 10/12 or a firm size 8/10.   It's about choices; eat better and exercise.  I have been counting calories for the better part of a year AND have been exercising regularly (for the most part *smile*), it works!  We have a responsibility to our Lord to take care of our bodies.  (I Cor. 6:19-20:  Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. NLT)

So now to determine your body type.  When dressing your body type/shape, it's not about hiding parts of your body you don't like.  It's all about balance so you look proportional.   We all fit into at least one of the following body types.  Our body type depends on where we gain weight.   Where do you gain the majority of your weight?  Tummy?, Upper midriff and bust?, Bottom and hip/thigh area?, or evenly gain all over?  It is absolutely possible that some gain weight in multiple areas.  If that's the case you will want to combine the suggestions for those body types.

B - is for belly.  If you gain most of your weight in your belly and have somewhat of a flat rear end, then this is your body type.  

O - is for overly endowed.  If you have a fuller figure, rounded on top, bust and upper midriff then this is your body type.

D - is for derriere.  If you gain most of your weight in your hips, thighs and rear end and are narrow in your waist then this is your body type. 

X - is for those who have balanced shoulders and hips.  Generally you will gain weight all over.  

Here are a few tricks for each body type:

For B types, you want to draw attention away from the middle of your body.  Do this by accessorizing!  Particularly around your neckline.  A slimming trick would be to wear a long scarf draped in front of your body.  Another tip is to create a column by matching your top and pants/skirt (monochromatic dressing) and wear a contrasting color for a jacket.  Do not tuck in your shirt.  Tops and jackets should fall just below your waist or go longer with a duster that falls above your knees.  No pleated pants.

For O body types, your most important piece of clothing is your bra!  A bra that fits properly can take 5-10 pounds off!  Really!   Swing jackets will definitely flatter your figure - nothing too tight around your bust.  Push long sleeves up a little to 3/4 length.  Prints make a full bust appear smaller.  Camisoles should be a staple because so many tops are low cut.  See my previous post regarding cleavage.  You will also want to use the same slimming trick as the b body type by column dressing (top and pants/skirt same color with a contrasting scarf or jacket).  

For D body types, your most important asset will be a tailor or alteration person!  You will need to buy pants that fit your hips and not hug them.  Can I just interject here and say "welcome to my world!"  I have learned the hard way so let me encourage you here... if your pants just fit, buy the next size up.  Yes, up!  If the size on the tag bothers you, cut it out!  Or, have fun ... if it's a size 12, 14 (whatever) cut out the number one! Da-dah!  Remember, dressing is about looking balanced.  A d body type probably has slimmer shoulders, so shirts and jackets with collars are great as well as shoulder pads!  Not linebacker ones, small ones.  I got a small pair from Hancock Fabrics and use velcro tape to keep them situated under my bra strap.  Best tops are scoop or square neck.  Belts are great!  A slimming trick is to wear the same color jacket and pant/skirt with a contrasting top.  A contrasting jacket will draw attention right to your bottom.  Remember, outside pieces.  And absolutely accessorize and draw the eye upward with necklaces, earrings or bangle bracelets.

And for those with an X body type, belts of all kinds are great for you!  You definitely want to draw the eye to your waist.  Column dressing with your inside pieces (top, pant/skirt) is great for you as well.  Wear colorful accessories like a long scarf or necklace to also draw the eye inward and upward.  You also need to be mindful of dressing proportionally.  Fitted top over fuller pants or fuller tops over slimmer bottoms.

I'd love to hear from you!  Do you have questions about your body type?  Other questions regarding image, dressing, hair, makeup?  

Blessings!
Dawn

Frazzled Fridays!

The 5 Bs of Style

Happy frazzled Friday to you!  It has been a particularly busy week for me so I am very much frazzled today!

I originally planned to talk about body shapes/types today but as I prayed and asked the Lord to guide my thoughts for this post He brought me back to Ezekial 16:14 which says " And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I HAD GIVEN YOU made your beauty PERFECT declares the Sovereign Lord." (NIV - emphasis mine)

Wow, have you ever really pondered that (1) the Sovereign Lord made you beautiful; (2) the beauty that He gave you is perfect?  The God who created the heavens and earth created us (you and me) beautiful and unique, specifically the way He wanted us!  That is hard for me to wrap my brain around, I'm just sayin'...

The word splendor (Hebrew - hadar) describes what is beautiful and instills awe and ascribes high value or status to what is majestic. It is an appearance that is considered attractive.  Through the prophet Ezekial, God tells us that he gave us splendor making our unique beauty perfect.  Again, wow.

Because God sent Jesus to earth to pay the penalty for our sins (death - eternal separation from God) when we confess our sins and commit our lives to Him (allow him to be Lord of our lives) we become children of the Most High God!  Because of Jesus, we are God's special possession.  We are to be light to the world so the world may come to know Jesus as their Savior and Lord.

So let's stop for a moment and talk about the 5 Bs of Style... hang on, just follow me here...

Rule #1 - No bra straps.  They are not to show at anytime, anywhere period.  It's just not neat, even if all the fashion magazines in the world tell you it's the greatest, newest trend!

Rule #2 - No Bust Exposure.  This is a biggie (LOL, yes the pun was intended!!)  Make sure the tops/shirts you choose are not too tight at the bust.  You can tell... is it pulling?  Are there gaps between the buttons?  Is there cleavage showing??            

         
I expect there will be push-back on this one, but seriously friends, let's look at it two ways:  Men.  They are visual, that is absolutely the way God wired them!  But do we need to be a stumbling block for them?  Do we need to be showing other women's sons and husbands what we have (or dont')??   Go get a professional bra fitting - yes, professional.  Try a department store like Dillard's or Soma Intimates.  I have found both of these stores to be excellent in bra fittings personally.

Rule #3 - No bellies.  Your tummy should be treated a private part.  Men find bellies to be very sexy, so don't tempt them. 

Rule #4 - No bottoms.  Do you draw attention to your bottom by wearing pants that have words written on them?  Do your underwear show because your pants are too low?  I recommend keeping shorts and skirts no more than 2-3 inches above your knee.  Why?  No one wants to see up your skirt, except those who shouldn't!

Rule #5 - No Bubbling. Bubbling is what happens when your pants/jeans are too tight.  If you see ridges and wrinkling in the area of your thighs (with pants on, LOL) this means they are too tight.  Try a different size or style.  Good fitting jeans can be as hard to find as a bathing suit.  Mercy!  But don't give up!

When we expose ourselves and cause others to stumble, we jeopardize our usefulness to God's holy purpose.  Therefore, we must be modest in our dress.  But wait!  What is soooo cool about fashion is that we can wear the newest, popular styles AND do it modestly.  It's all about learning how to take each style and make it respectful.  This may mean layering a tank under a low cut dress or shirt.  Or wearing a colorful shirt or tank under a see-through blouse.  It may mean wearing leggings under a shorter skirt.  If you need help with that, please ask me!  I will help you brain storm ideas. 

So, let's do a self-check.  Get in front a full length mirror (yes, full length).  Bend over.  Anything spilling out of the front or back?  Raise your hands over your head.  Any tummy exposure?  Are your bra straps showing?  You may need to tighten the band or adjust the straps... OR you need to get a new one!!  Soooo worth it friends!  Think about it, you are wearing one every day! 

Modesty starts at home.  My daughter just turned 8.  She is just like other girls in that she wants to dress stylish.  But (and this is HUGE)... she is watching how I dress!  And I do have to make gentle suggestions from time to time.  I have to remind her (and me) that just because it's in style or all the current rave, doesn't mean that it's something she or I should wear.

I will leave you this week with something to think about and maybe a project to look through on-line pictures.  If we are dressing to impress, whoever that may be, do we realize that not only the person or persons we are trying to get attention from are seeing us, but others as well?  Let me be blunt.  If a young girl is dressing to get attention from a let's say 16 year old guy, she needs to be told that she is going to be looked at and get attention from guys that are 6, 26, 46, and 66 plus.  Does she really want that?  And for those of us that are no longer 16 (tee, hee, hee), the same goes for us.  We draw the attention of boys and men of all ages, which includes the men we work with and go to church with.  Is that ok??  

Blessings!
Dawn

Fall/Winter Fashion - Hem lengths

Well it finally feels like Fall here in the south!  And in celebration of our cooler temperatures let's talk about the new hem lengths for fall and winter.  No more miniskirts!  

Hem lengths for skirts and dresses are much longer this season.  You will see asymmetrical draping, fish tails (no, not what you think), and hems cut on the bias.  And the fabrics are much softer, much more sophisticated and elegant. 

Ok, that's great and all, but who cares?  When choosing your skirts and dresses you need to make sure that the hems hit you in the right spot so you look balanced and not frumpy.

How do I look balanced and not frumpy you ask?  Here's how:  stand in front of a full length mirror, heels together, toes pointing toward 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock.  Look to see where your legs touch and where they do not.  The places where your legs don't touch (openings) are called the "diamonds" in your legs.  (And yes, diamonds are still a girl's best friend!!)  

Those diamond openings are of significant importance!  That is where all your hem lengths (not only skirts and dresses, but shorts, cropped pants and capris) should end.


Try it out... if your skirt or dress falls below the diamond between your calf muscle and your ankle then you either need to befriend a tailor and have it hemmed OR you are planning on wearing said skirt or dress to a formal event.    If the skirt or dress falls above any of the diamonds openings, then I would encourage you to find another style or simply go up a size!  And friends, size does not matter here... please understand that different designers and different fabrics, and the way that particular item is cut makes a big difference in the way things fit.  It just does!  So, don't fret about going up a size.  If need be, have it tailored.  No one sees the tag inside that shows the size!  Well, except you... and if that's an issue CUT THE TAG OUT!  The important thing here is to dress to flatter your gorgeous, God-given body shape.   In doing so, you will always look and feel great regardless of your size (or the size printed on the tag)!

The style this season is to wear tights or ankle socks with skirts.  Depending on how you like to make a statement with your fashion.  I'm not quite on board with the whole ankle sock thing.  However, that does not mean that this would not be a good look for you! 

Blessings!
Dawn 

Frazzled Fridays!

Hello, my name is P-Earl. 

One of the hot fashion accessory trends this fall and winter are pearls.  The word pearl has become a metaphor for something very rare, fine, admirable, and valuable.

Pearls are so delicate and come in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colors.  Kind of like us!  A pearl’s beauty really comes from adversity.   In my quick research of how pearls are formed I learned they are formed inside a protective shell.  A pearl begins to form when an irritant is introduced… the pearl is formed to cover the irritant.  Umm, beauty from irritation?  Now that’s an odd concept!  Something irritating and uncomfortable turns into something beautiful and strong!   Yes, I can hear some say “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.”  But I think it’s more than that.

Life has been challenging lately (anyone else?), and I’ve been discouraged and frustrated and sometimes just wanted to completely give up!  (which is a blog within itself)  Especially since I consider what I’ve been doing lately as being obedient to the call God has placed on my life.  I find myself asking the Lord, “did I not hear you correctly”, “are you sure this is what you want me to do”?  And other times it’s “I don’t think I’m the right person for this Lord”, “this hurts too much”… you get the picture.  During times like this I forget that God is working it all out… and it will make me stronger and more beautiful, like a pearl.   Even though at the time all I can feel is the weight of the physical, emotional and spiritual heaviness.  

You know how hindsight is 20/20; looking back we see how the rough edges smooth out, our attitudes and possible inappropriate reactions are reshaped.  

In Matthew 13:45-46 Jesus tells the story of a pearl merchant; “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant on the lookout for choice pearls.  When he discovered a pearl of great value, he sold everything he owned and bought it!”    Matthew Henry’s commentary explains that  Jesus Christ is a Pearl of great price; in having him, we have enough to make us happy here and for ever.  A man may buy gold too dear, but not this Pearl of great price. When the convinced sinner sees Christ as the gracious Savior, all things else become worthless to his thoughts.  

Our growth as Christians, becoming more like Christ (not in anything we do, but the Holy Spirit in us) is like the pearl merchant selling everything he owns to have that “Pearl”.  The kingdom of heaven (Jesus Christ) is a pearl of rare and highest value in that we should follow him at all cost.

So, what person(s) or event(s) in your life has made you stronger and more beautiful?  

For me, when I left corporate America (not-so-shortly after hearing the Lord whisper that He was calling me into ministry – again, another story) I was thrown into a tailspin of mental and emotional struggles.  I had been a professional all my adult life.  I then became a stay-at-home mom with two small children.  Completely new thing!  And no, I did not have a degree in early childhood anything!  Talk about a fish out of water!    Friend, (I hope you don’t mind me calling you friends) that was almost 7 years ago and a LOT has transpired over these past years.  I am now embarking on the ministry the Lord has called me to.  


So what about you?   I look forward to getting to know you better and offering encouragement and fashion advice/tips along the way!

Blessings,

Dawn

P.S.  Also visit me at www.christianfashionspeakers.com